Thursday 22 March 2012

Oh No you didn't

So my next door neighbour decides to knock on my door this afternoon and start yelling and ranting at me about how much room he has to park, join the club mate.  I was all ready to compromise to his suggestions when he literally said to me "I've told you once, now I've told you twice if I have to.......SLAM no one talks to me like that.  He was literally foaming at the mouth, a trait I recognise from my ex-husband, a bully and I am just not dealing with it, got enough on my plate.  So gonna park at the other side of the street because I really don't bloody care if I have to walk an extra few feet to my door.  May have a few late night raves this weekend though :-)

In other news, my mam kindly looked after my poorly girl this afternoon for me as she is still getting over being ill and I had to work.  After a few hours they took a little walk out but had to get the bus back as they were both too tired to walk home.  The bus driver drove so badly that he knocked my mam on to her knees and then onto her back at the same time Kayla was flung from her seat and onto the floor.  Then he did it again when they came to get off the bus, so after giving the driver a piece of her mind (worst part is he didn't even realise what he'd done) she called the bus company who were very nice and are promising to deal with it..................watch this space for more news on that!

All in all a very eventful day :-O

Tuesday 20 March 2012

Typing in the dark....................................

I would find it easy to say my 'life is shit' at this time, or FML as the cool kids are saying these days (is it still cool to say cool?) But it's not shit, my life that is. It is the hardest time I've ever had to live through (barring last year when mum decided to contract septicemia and slip into a coma).  It would be funny if it wasn't so bloody tragic, my baby girl is suffering with stomach pains that I can't seem to help with (useless mammy) but she spends all her time snuggled up to me wanting cuddles (awww) every bit of news we get is bad news and just when we think we've got it sussed...... well do we ever have anything sussed really?

So on the whole life is good, difficult but good nonetheless.

My search for work continues .. and in the words of Forest Gump 'that's all I have to say about that'.

I have an idea for a sitcom in my head, not (you'll be glad to hear) based on my life (cause that's shit lol) but based on what I want to see in a sitcom.... but would one write something like this as a script or a story and how is it structured?  Too many questions, so I guess my idea will probably stay in my head because I have no idea how to get out of there and onto paper.  It's always been my dream to write but especially comedy.

There are so many things I want to do but feel like I have been solvitoled to a wall , not on one of those comfy chairs either but in one of those wedgey inducing jumpsuits.

It is with wonder I think upon you now,
how did you live in that time and space,
some of the things we find hard, to you were a blessing
I miss you my grandparents, I miss you, no messing :-)

Eat your heart out Pam Ayres lol

I joined twitter a couple of months back and I have to say I'm loving it, I've made some amazing friends who without knowing it have helped me through some pretty dark times, so if any of you beautiful people (and you know who you are) are reading this now, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Well this was a pretty messy blog tonight, but I can't sleep so maybe now I've offloaded I will.

I apologise for the profusive use of the word 'shit' and the overuse of (brakets)!








Wednesday 14 March 2012

A bad day for the world ......

Woke up to the news of 22 children & 6 adults killed in horrific and unexplained bus crash in Switzerland, my brain is struggling to comprehend how a parent could cope with such devastating news, without spontaniously combusting.  Keep grabbing hold of my own little one and cuddling her, lucky for me she's a cuddly child otherwise Mummy may have been put on the naughty list today.

I've spent today sorting Kayla's old clothes to sell on ebay to help raise a few funds, I say old they're hardly used.  But have spent the day counting my every blessings at how lucky I am, nothing else seems as important right now.

I've decided to shame myself into loosing weight.  the plan is to take a picture of my tummy, which still looks about 7 months pregnant and posting it on Twitter and Facebook thus creating a shame to try and force myself into taking action.  Problem with me is I don't FEEL fat, I don't SEE a fat person in the mirror (I'm like a anorexic in reverse) and yet I can't fit into the clothes and photographs of myself shock the hell out of me, so if I see it there on a pic and know everyone else can see it too, maybe I can force myself to get rid of it..........EXCERISE IS THE KEY HERE.  I did start walking to work *fast* but I've hurt the backs of my legs as I hadn't stretched properly, yes I'm that unfit that I need to stretch before a simple 1/2 mile walk!  Don't misunderstand I'm in no way lazy, this is the bit that gets me, I never stop moving. Sometimes I go to bed and my legs still want to move so much I can't sleep for it............but obviously it's not proper exercise so it's not having the desired affect.

Need a good laugh and a few wines with the girls.

Sunday 4 March 2012

Living on the edge...................

..................financially speaking.  Tony has a new job hurrah! no more unsociable hours and being absent from the family home for what feels like days on end.  No more getting in at 4am and starting work at 6am the same morning!  Saturday nights out, lazy Sundays with the family and generally a better quality of life.

Unfortunately as we usually live hand to mouth anyway and we have just had to pay the last off our first proper family holiday, the old place messing about with pay owed and the new one expecting 3 weeks in hand...............well let's just say things are a bit tricky here at the moment.

Since Kayla is now in full time school it's time for me to step up and fill the void so that we can have an overall better lifestyle, torn between motherhood and career is most unpleasant so I've opted for working part time doing what I'm good at and waving bye bye to a career I worked my ass off to obtain.  Don't get me wrong this whole career thing holds no meaning for me anymore not since I gave birth, and it's a good job cause employees seem to think ladies with young children are the lepers of the working community.  Anyway thanks to the unelected condem government bringing our beautiful country to it's knees there doesn't seem to be any part time work out there to be had and I can't sacrifice the time I have with my little girl to work full time it would hurt both of us.

Also please don't misunderstand I am by no means a stay at home mother (that would be a dream) I do have a job working 10 hours a week and I care for mother, when she lets me!

So determined are we to get from this point to a financially brighter one without borrowing money from anyone that we go from a strange happy euphoric to dark depression